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Meanwhile, the PILOT, who has been laughing hysterically through the entire sequence, finally loses it. He falls out of his chair and bangs his head against the computer panel, causing the ship to lose control and crash into a nearby planet (240)
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Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them. (236)
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Having someone wrapped around you, looking into your eyes, inches away from your face, smiling the cutest smile in the world and giving you quick little kisses on the nose is the greatest feeling anywhere ever (209)
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Shall I tell you stories of other stars: stars that you love, that deserve your love. Stars that do not disappoint, and disgust, and disgrace your love. Oh, I have hope they exist for your sake! (194)
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I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky? (183)
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To better imagine the limits of the dried-up Martian sea, little Tatiana found it helpful to shape in her mind a great sinuous contour binding each sad, stranded boat to its neighbor (182)
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Honey! Come look! It's a long node title. The author must be possessed of a certain mad joy for life! Their poetry must be insightful and witty and special. I'm certain of it. (175)
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It has been claimed that some or all of this article or section is incoherent and not understandable, and should possibly be reworded if the intended meaning can be determined (175)
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Frisky, most silver, serene -- bright step at the margins of air, you tiny colossus and winsome and master me, easy in sunlight, you gracious one come to me, live in my life (173)
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How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus? (161)
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Growing (almost) old disgracefully: drinking, dancing and deviant party games in honour of Wntrmute's and The Debutante's birthdays- Bristol, November 2006 (155)
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The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart. (150)
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Decrying political correctness without an understanding of its causes and intended consequences is little more than racism muttered under one's breath (150)
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Standing on a mountaintop in northern Siberia under the rapidly descending bulk of asteroid McAlmont, with a calculating expression and a baseball bat (150)
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No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt oriented wardrobe (146)
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It's Not Short Notice If It Doesn't Suck, aka "Cinquo de Mayo in New York City: My Way, or Some Other Entirely Unrelated and Also Okay Way." (140)
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Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come. (135)
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Prepare me a ship of which the half-rotten timbers shall be painted black, let the sails be in rags, and the sailors infirm and sickly (134)
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She was a committed romantic and an anarcha-feminist. This was hard for her because it meant she couldn't blow up beautiful buildings. (134)
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Rhesus Monkeys and Dormant Underwater Volcanos: the "I can't believe there's nobody here from Madagascar" E2 Madagascar get-together (132)
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The Art Of Insulting - Chapter XII- Excerpt from the 1992 World Insulting Championship Final in Brussels (Vassilyevich vs. White) (129)
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So, I bought some new curtains. They're blue, and that act is symbolic of the hopelessness of my particular domestic situation. (127)
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My farmworking 20th century immigrant forebears had no responsibility for the plight of your pre-20th century slave forebears (125)
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Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table (123)
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memories are a mob of dead ex-girlfriends standing outside your bedroom window, their heads and shoulders shelves for snow. (123)
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the morning snowdrops fall like dew in the sunlight and fill my heart with their icy cold and all i can think about is you (122)
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"Excuse me, but could you drop your large backpack somewhere else, please?" A (almost) christmas nodermeet in the East End (122)
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"Have you noticed that we are surrounded by Germans? Oh my god, you're right!" The quadrennial Cologne Nodermeet, Part II (121)
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If you have enough monkeys banging randomly on typewriters, they will eventually type the works of William Shakespeare (118)
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I fear that you are planning an aerodynamic mythological coup. I pray this does not interfere with our dinner plans. (116)
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if one of us should flicker and vanish, mid-drag, don't bat an eye. claim a spot on the curb and never give an inch. (116)
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"So we have...curry and pubs. City of Culture my arse." - a slightly frantic Birmingham nodermeet (with long words!) (116)
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You are going to need to get a big princess type dress. I CANNOT fight for the honor of someone wearing cowgirl pjs (115)
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Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue (114)
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The problem with people who think life is inexpressibly beautiful is that they so often try to express it anyway (112)
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We only smoke when bored so we do two packs a day, and we've lost the difference between bored and lonely anyway (112)
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"Why is my mom three thousand miles away?": Life After The E2 End of Summer Denial of School Northwest Gathering (112)
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The ability of planarian worms to run a maze more successfully after being fed the remains of a successful worm (111)
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Every Tuesday, I dress as a 46-year old woman and waitress at a diner on route 27. This is the meaning of life. (111)
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The most satisfactory way to engage in sexual intercourse with the hot trophy wife of your despised employer. (109)
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I am serving up and weildering triple secret fat ass flaming wisdoms, shit aint availing you, lamers of Edom! (109)
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Your job is to find kitten. This task is complicated by the existence of various things which are not kitten. (109)
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A new experimental protocol for observing the effects of the circumvolution of a preharvested murine specimen (109)
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If the wibbly thing is part of your anatomy, I guarantee you don't want the cat batting at it or licking it. (108)
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Until today, it really pissed me off that I'd become this totally centered Zen Master and nobody had noticed (108)
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Wired, old school: Information exchange and the explosive popularity of 17th and 18th century coffee houses (107)
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David Blaine - you're a stupid bastard, smell my Fillet O' Fish: An informal London gathering by the Thames (107)
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I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability (107)
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The Lord of the Rings 1/2: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Middle-earth But Were Afraid to Produce (107)
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The Punk Meets the Godfather, Part One: Do My Converse look okay? And other preconceptions by a hippie kid (106)
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"Ha ha," says the Israeli voter to the American voter, "don't talk to me about the lesser of two evils." (104)
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every statue in town came to life, but they'd been watching long enough to know better than to ever move (104)
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Sometimes, my paranoia overtakes me and I find myself asking, "IS ONE OF THE E2 EDITORS OUT TO GET ME!?" (104)
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Splashy Fen 2005 - Music, Madness and Noders in the Mountains - A Nodermeet that'll rock your socks off (103)
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If you press your ear to the wrist of the world you can hear every heartbeat from the beginning of time (103)
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I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt (102)
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On the last day of 2004, we will do something in Portland. That thing is called a party. You can come. (102)
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We exist in a world of pure communication, where looks don't matter and only the best writers get laid (102)
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HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, OWNER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. (101)
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Deals well with ambiguity: a savagely long writeup about why boys are not like girls and other things (101)
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Through this warm electricity I will give you bark branches and leaves curling upward into a safe sky (101)
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Weak and desperate from decades of commuting the djinn would barter all for coffee and a friendly ear (101)
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A crazy ideological teenager who still thinks that clear, free, rational thinking can save the world (100)
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The fire in the sky, the fire in your hand, the sad songs without bodies, surrounding us like ghosts (100)
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I love the smell of Yum Cha in the morning (Spring 01 Sydney noder meet) Malarkey? or Effective Way? (100)
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Project Messiah: the Britnoders strike back - Drinking, Debauchery and Classical Music in Winchester (100)
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I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head. (100)
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What do girls think about guys who think about what other people think about girls and what they do? (100)
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The naked woman raises herself on her elbow and continues her monologue in the direction of the bath (100)
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There are places in this world where mundane, forgotten things have learned to weave their own magic (100)
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After all, the Bible says Jesus' first miraculous sign was to make 180 gallons of wine for a party! (99)
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the power failure is a sudden sea. the wail of the tornado siren thrashes in the slack of the sail. (99)
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Making Rage Against The Machine Guitar noises with your mouth is the best form of political protest (99)
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What was once well planned in a mad girls mind, and is now quickly becoming a last minute nodermeet (99)
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A Sunny Place For Shady People: Summer Solstice, Santa Barbara Style, A Very Brady E2 Get-Together! (99)
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This exact place where we laughed so much and the way you said my name will echo always in my brain (99)
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A survival guide for the professionally outraged - constructing umbrage from common household items (99)
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She is the queen of accidental magic. Her used kleenexes, taken by the wind, become soulful ghosts. (99)
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Your radical ideas about religion as a mechanism of social control have already occurred to others (98)
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When the roof is caving in and the walls are crumbling and you sit back and realize it's beautiful (98)
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Your Radical Ideas about Capitalism as a Method for Social Control Have Already Occurred to Others (98)
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My Angst Ate my Suffering in a Void of Meaningless Existential Nihilistic Self-Oppression: An Poem (98)
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Three battles, 100 pubs, Queen Anne's girlfriend and some noders - a summer nodermeet in St Albans (98)
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Summoning the Spirit: A Californian comes to Caledonia and Consumes Coffee Convivially (Nodermeet) (98)
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I'll take the...blue...No! Red! The Red Pill! (A short Notice New York Movie Binge and Noder Meet) (98)
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She sang of fantastic green islands, and sparkling fish, never telling that she haunted the waters (98)
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In the world I see, you're stalking elk through the forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center (98)
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Mr. Clean will clean up everything you hold dear, leaving you crying, sanitized and utterly alone (97)
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This one goes out to you - not so much the people in the audience, but more the people in my mind (97)
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whisked through time-tubes of candied air to an archipelago of moon-worlds, sterile and deserted (96)
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Attorney General's List of Totalitarian, Fascist, Communist, Subversive, and Other Organizations (96)
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A short Blitz on Stepney in the Winter or How the East End welcomes Heisenberg with perky Bosons (96)
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We don't swim in yer toilet, so don't fuck us over or you'll need 2 wheelchairs, fool: An Partie (96)
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I don't remember what life was like when I was seven. I like the taste of air. What should I do? (96)
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Do not put this product into the rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device or applicator (95)
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Trying to catch one clear promise out of the jittery confused language the night was whispering (95)
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A thousand years from now, we should have coffee and tell stories while the world disintegrates (95)
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I fried myself in The Finnish E2 Get-Together, and all I got was a hippie song stuck in my head (95)
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Her innocence fell. She kicked at it some, frowned, and left it there because it was beautiful. (95)
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Your radical ideas about this being like David Foster Wallace have already occurred to others. (94)
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